I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
