its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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