i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
