she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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