he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
