I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am mentally ready for anal.
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