So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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