first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize