so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
