I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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