how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
