i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
