he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize