im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
