Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
