He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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