i think i have two assholes
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
