your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have aggressive nipples.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
