your room smells of hookers.
And success
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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