Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
