I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
