Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
