I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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