Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
