So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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