Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
