When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
