Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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