okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
