we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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