if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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