Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I want to have your abortion
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
