She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
