He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
