At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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