Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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