He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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