I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
