matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize