I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize