Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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