if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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