There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
