he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
