you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
