worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
two words...techno handjob
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
