This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
