i may or may not be watching the land before time
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
