I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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