wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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