i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
