Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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