OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
