No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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