life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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