I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
