I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Help. Why am I so naked?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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