in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
