The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
