Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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