So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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