Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
