Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
