either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
