He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
