Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
