2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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