a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
