I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
