dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
