If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
