I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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