Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
