on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
this hospital has no fireball
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
